In The Tenth...

SCORING

I flipped on the television. Even with cable there really wasn’t anything even remotely worth watching. Of course that did not motivate me to turn it off. I grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and settled into the papasan. Maybe getting high tonight would be fun after all. It has been a while since I have gotten really stoned. It’s a whole different world once you discover the wonders of the powders. You can remain in control when you are on them; it is when you are sober that control seems to be the golden ring at the center of the carousel. Oh how I have reached for that ring. Time and again I have grabbed but it is always just the slightest bit out of reach. Kristy used to be able to grab it any time. It always infuriated me how she could maintain. It did not matter if we were high, sober or just beginning to feel the sickness… she would be able to function the same way…

“Christ, when’s he gonna get here? It’s been an hour for god’s sake!”
“Just calm down, he’ll be here any minute.” Kristy said.
“I don’t know how you do it. I’m goin’ outta my skull here.” I could feel the seat pouring out of my body. If he did not show soon I was going to be soaked.

Kristy moved over to the couch and slid next to me. Her warmth was the ultimate contrast to my cold, needy body. As she stroked my hair I was acutely aware of her hand sliding up my leg. I know what she was doing. We were both in pretty rough shape and needed our fix, but she could handle it… for both of us. Kristy is not the prettiest girl I have ever dated but she is, without question, the only one who could make me forget even about life’s most important pleasures with her body. Everyone meets, once in their lifetime, the one persona that takes them on the most incredible journey of their existence without ever leaving the house. When her tongue touched my ear I was already totally and completely lost in her. All my concentrations were now on returning the pleasures I knew she was about to give me. Her hands roamed my back as my tongue traced her ear to the hollow of her neck. I made a game out of kissing her neck until I could tell she was barely able to breathe; then slowing down and giving her light kisses until the passion built again. I felt her hands travel below the waistband of my pants and that tingly feeling of someone else’s touch upon my thighs and pelvis coursed through me. I could barely take the teasing and bit her neck hard enough to let her know that I was beyond my limit. Her hand grasped my harness and I thought I would release that second. Kristy would have none of that however and just held me there. My mouth found its way between her breasts, unbuttoning her sweater with my teeth. As I rolled one of her delicate nipples between my teeth and tongue my other hand slid between her legs. Her damp warmth all but burning my hand through her jeans was again enough to almost cause a premature end to the diversion. She slid her hand out of my pants and sat up to remove her sweater. When she stood up to take off her jeans I simply watched in anticipation.

The doorbell caught both of us off guard and for one very brief second, I almost debated about answering it. Kristy padded to the bedroom as I opened the door.

“My brother!” Pat’s uniform greeting for everyone.
“Where the hell have you been?” I said, straddling the fence of eagerness and irritation.
“You know the deal, hurry up and wait.”
“Yeah, it’s cool.”
“Where’s Kristy?” Pat asked.
“Bedroom.” I replied.
“Cool. I gotta fly though…” slipping me a baggy.
“Thanks my man.” I said, handing him two fifties.
“You got any smoke?” He asked.
“Yeah, I think so…” I said, heading for the bedroom.
“Here,” Kristy said entering the room.” I knew you’d want this.”

She handed Pat a joint and he was out the door. The relationship between you and the guy that gets you your stuff is always pretty much the same. The only time you really see one another is when you need to see him and he never sticks around for very long. Not that you want him to. Hell, it’s not physically possible for him to get there in time. He could show up thirty seconds after you call and he would still be late in your eyes. So, by the time he actually gets to you the last thing on your mind are social pleasantries. You would not take a bullet for him but you not think twice about lending him your car. He is not a friend. He is a precious acquaintance.
Kristy handed my kit to me. I opened the bag and pulled out the heat-tarnished spoon. As I pricked the baggy that was holding our fix and leveled a bit onto the spoon’s reservoir she lit the oil lamp and brought it over to where I was sitting cross-legged on the floor. We were a well-oiled machine at this point. Each of us knew the drill by heart and neither would deviate. I dropped just a breath of water into the mix as the smack browned in the heat. It was just about ready. Kristy was already tying her arm, just above the elbow and tapping for a vein. I used one hand to hold our crux while I screwed the syringe with the other. Dropping a small bit of cotton on top of the junk I lit and extinguished it in the same instant.
The air was thick with romance by this time. Nothing is quite so erotic as two lover about to get juiced. I could feel her presence without looking at her and I knew she was starting at me intently. Waiting, as patiently as could be expected, for me to finish. I lifted the needle to the spoon, slid it into the cotton ball and began to draw in the liquid to the accompaniment of Kristy’s breath being sucked within her. There are two ways for a man to hear that sound from a woman; the split second you enter her after an almost sadistic amount of foreplay, and the on that caused this particular outburst. The means different only by the physical, the ends however, unwavering.
Kristy outstretched her arm and let her hand drop into my lap. She had tapped well and I could easily see a good purple vein. She was always easy to stick. Some people have those damned veins that make you go hunting and popping until you finally hit pay dirt. If I had to hit myself five or six times to shock I would probably go out of my head. I raised the rig above her arm and positioned it. A quick stab and just a whisper of junk through the needle. I watched, suspended in time, as the minute fountain of blood splashed up into the chamber like a lava lamp. My eyes now locked on Kristy and her eyes begging me. She never belonged to anyone else the way she belonged to me at this moment. I could have handed her a hatchet and asked her to hack off one of her toes and she would not have given it a second thought. I looked into those eyes for what must have been no more than four or five seconds but I lived seven lifetimes in the wrinkle. My thumb nailed the plunger and the rock hit her head. Like a god-dammed blood-to-brain orgasm. I withdrew the needle and her eyes fell closed. Her head tilted back followed by the rest of her until she was flat on the floor. Her lips curved into a smile and her body relaxed to its new position. I loosened the wrap from her arm and tied it to my own. Fishing another baggy out of the box I dumped a bit of coke onto the base of the oil lamp and stiffened out a line with a razor blade. Now I turned my attention back to the syringe and filled it up again. Bending down I picked up the receiving tube and let the cocaine fill my nostrils. Before I could even taste a hint of drainage I plunged the needle into my arm and slammed my brain with a good health does of smack. My body went limp as the heroin sloshed into my system. I could feel every cell of my body grabbing for a taste. I was my blood. Boiling through my veins, screaming for release. Dying for just a taste of the tainted nourishment. The coke was tapping at my shoulder, begging my remembrance. This was a speedy hit. My blood churned faster and faster (so much so that I thought my very veins would burst). Each cell, driven by the new affront, worked faster and faster to absorb its salvation. My head hit the floor but I did not care. Nothing could take me. At least I did not care about anything that could.

“Fucking… fuck!” Kristy’s voice dreamily broke the air. I could hear her but I had not yet gained the strength to turn my head and look at her. I could hear her slightly labored breathing but I could not acknowledge it until my own chest began to emulate.
“Oh… oh god, oh my fucking god!” I could smile by now and I know she must be sitting up because I can feel her through her words. For a moment I could not remember if Pat had not shown up yet and we had finished what we started or if we had just tapped our veins. I could not remember any sex ever being this good though, which slyly spun me to the reality that we had just made love on a wholly different level.
As my head slid through the air to an upright position I was Kristy sitting Indian-style beside me. Her eyes were glazed with liquid lust and her mouth in awe. I must have looked just the same because she began to chuckle when I looked at her. We must have been quite a sight.
The phone was ringing.
Even though it was in the next room, it sounded a thousand miles away. Somewhere back in the recesses of my brain my thought-process took the path of what would happen if I were to answer:

'It is only a few feet away from me. If I can just move a couple of feet I can make it stop. Yes. All I have to do it pick up the receiver and that blasted ringing will stop. I do not even have to speak. I need do nothing other than pick up the receiver. I do not even have to pick it up. If I just knock it off the hook we can have our precious silence back and no one will be able to break it again. If I can just…'

“Phone.” Kristy said in a monotone.
“Yeah.” I answered her.
She stood up and glided to the kitchen. My entire head moved with my eyes. She picked up the phone and looked at the receiver in her hand. Then she looked at me. Back to the receiver and back to me again. A glimmer melted over her face, the same kind of glimmer that comes over and Irish setter when he realized the correlation between playing dead and getting a treat. Kristy slowly lifted the receiver to her ear.
“Hello” the glimmer was replaced by confused wonder as she nestled the receiver back on its cradle. “Wanna buy some new windows?” she asked me?
We both found this funny and began to laugh. She fell into my arms and we kissed. The horse was still galloping through our bloodstream and made it hard to find one another’s mouths. We fell into our own separate world of dreams and let the night pass.

I do not know what brought me out of my slumber. It must have been something pretty loud because I jumped straight up. My face feels like rubber that has been set on fire and then cooled in a freezer. I keep rubbing my eyes but it does not get any better. There is far too much light in the room. What the hell did I do last night? I look at Kristy's body crumpled on the couch. At some point she must have gotten cold and grabbed a blanket from the bedroom. Why in the hell didn't she just go to bed instead of coming back out and sleeping on the couch?
Standing up I notice I have not used my legs for quite a while. I consider flopping back down but if I do not use the bathroom I will die. It is always the same when you come off the junk. It is like you have to retrain your body all over again. So many things you seem to have forgotten. How to blink, how to use the light switch, where to get a drink of water. It is not the ability to do these things that you have lost, it is the concept... the knowledge is simply locked somewhere in a part of your brain you have not used for a while and you cannot find the key. The first thing you put together is how to get to the bathroom. Since heroin constipates you, by the time you are actually able to function once again the first thing on your mind is a long trip to the john. I must have done a hell of a lot of coke during this episode because I cannot go. I want to, I know I have the aching need but I just cannot make it happen. My belly feels like someone is wringing my intestines like a dishcloth. Finally the gates open and I am cleaned out. I slip back into the living room and flip on the TV. Kristy stirs just a bit as I slide beside her on the couch. Picking up her legs and dropping them over mine I sit with the remote control, Kristy and "Saved By the Bell" reruns. My world.

"Sweetheart?" Kristy was calling from the kitchen. My eyes are just fluttering open. The smell of bacon and eggs wafts from the direction of her voice. I cannot seem to concentrate. The smell of the food is good but I am afraid when it reaches my guy it will turn to a rabid green attack on my insides. I know I need the food I just do not know if I want it.
"Are you still asleep?" Mixed with a loud pop from the bacon she was frying.
"No."
"Bacon and eggs in five." How could she be so bouncy?
"Mmmmngh..."
"Come on sleepy head." She was almost singing now.
"Where'd you get energy?" I asked, stumbling into the kitchen.
"Look at the clock."
"Holy shit!" It was 7:48 and it was dark outside.The last thing I can remember is shooting up around ten last night. At least I think it was last night. I do not think I've blown an entire weekend here... "It is Saturday, right?"
"Yeah, silly. You thought we blew away tomorrow?" Kristy was smiling at my confusion. "We've got the whole night ahead of us!"
"Wait a minute... why are we having breakfast at eight PM?" I was beginning to come to life.
"You don't have to eat any." She toyed.
"I think I can force some down." I picked up a piece of the bacon and just to be cliche, patted her bottom. The bacon tastes funny but I keep eating it. "Is there any orange juice?" I opened the refrigerator and grabbed some Sunny Delight without waiting for an answer. I lifted the jug to my lips and washed down bacon.
"Remind me to send Pat a Christmas present." I said, sitting down at the kitchen table.
"No shit! Choice stuff." Kristy set an overflowing plate in front of me.
"I think Jeff and Cindy are coming over tonight." I said.
"Cindy called. You were dead to the world. Jeff was still crashed, they did the bar thing last night. Anyway, they're picking up a movie and coming over around nine."
"I should call Rick." I think between bites. "You are a wonderful cook my dear."
"Hello? It's bacon and eggs. Frying pan and the microwave. Are we forgetting who the cook in the family really is? You know I only cook when I have to... and why not? I live with the greatest cook in the world."
"Why thank you, my dear. I'm still not doing the dishes."
"It was worth a shot." she smiled.

After finishing breakfast (or dinner, as the case may be) I went back out to the living room. Pulling a baggy out of my box I used a receiving tube to chuck a little coke out onto the mirror that was sitting on the table. A couple of big rocks had come out so I rolled the tube over them to crush them down. I picked up the expired MasterCard that was sitting on the table and began to form two large lines. there is an art laying out lines. For me, it has always been a big part of the entire experience. I get almost as much pleasure from the anticipation as I roll the pile from side-to-side with the card and watch as it forms into a line. Completely even. Totally straight. Perfect.

"I'll take one of those!" Kristy called from the kitchen.
"Already a step ahead, darlin'" I answered.
"That's why I married you."
Kristy and I always considered ourselves married. From the day she moved in here we decided the whole 'marriage thing' was just a piece of paper. We woke beside on another. We ate together and we pooled our money. What the hell is the difference? If she had a bad day, I did my best to make her feel better. If I had a great day, she did her best to piss me off. How much closer to real marriage can you get?

In The Tenth...

SCORING

© D. Zimmerman, 1997 - 2003